VILLAINY.!!!

the villain
The good guy never wins. No matter if he saves everyone and really is handsome under those glasses (pun intended). Well in my opinion,everyone loves the super villian. My best bet is to go evil, I suppose, and be super cool.
As a villain, You will have more friends. Peter Parker was a social outcast. Norman Osborne was the popular kid. Reed Richards was a dorky scientist. Someone still fell in Love with The Fish person in Yomi/Yemi My lover, Von Doom was a rich socialite. Nneka the pretty serpent , was well,Pretty. Anyone else sensing a pattern here?
You get to laugh manically. Well yeah,
good guys don’t get to do this. No one has ever heard Superman or Batman laughing like a maniac and no one ever will. Trust me, this is something I want (everyone wants) to do. It is strangely liberating. While you may pass chances to do this every once in a while during your civilian life, you will never get the quantity of opportunities that come with a career in villainy 😀 .
You will have the budget for all kinds of toys,all off a sudden. Well the thing is the super bad guys are never broke. Not only are they never broke but they always have more resources than the hero could ever hope for. Apparently the villain racket pays very well. It also seems to be recession-proof. I hear the tax breaks are good too. ¯..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯
As for the bad guys, hot chicks dig evil guys.
You never see an evil villain with an ugly ass woman. Sure, they may be dirty, rotten, and out to steal your empire,(Evil-Lyn comes into my mind.) but you can always kill them if they get out of hand. Studies show that breasts of women who hang out with evil guys are an average of two cups bigger than the nice dudes chicks. Studies don’t ever lie,Ever. Or do they..? 😐
You will be safe from everyday accidents
Evil villains are never killed in car accidents. It just doesn’t happen. You won’t get smashed by a falling piano, a collapsed building, moving BRT/danfo bus or die of food poisoning. The only way you can be killed is probably and always in an explosion created by the hero by mistakenly exposing the one flaw in your plan that no one could ever possibly foresee. Even then…we know there’s always a come back… They simply do not have to worry about anyone killing them. Evil Villains simply can not be killed. People may think you are dead but you will secretly be lounging in an easy chair on your secret desert island hideout planning your next caper. The only way you can be taken out is by another villain ‘eviler’ than yourself who will subsequently take over your identity and continue upon your path in search of eternal world domination. Muahahahahaha.!
You can kill anyone you want and chances are high that You won’t go to jail. For some strange reason, cops never come to bust Evil villains at their homes even when the evidence is glaring. You could kill Spiderman on a live video feed in front of the entire planet and not one cop would try to arrest you. They can’t even arrest you for the stash of plutonium you have in your shed. It is in the charter when you join the union of the Super-villian Anonymous.
You get to dress how you want. You can even dress in the most outrageous outfits while demanding the world bow to your demands and no one will even make the slightest of snide comment. This could have something to do with the fact that you can kill anyone you want and can’t be killed back. 😀 (Remember, no one ever made fun of Magnetos helmet. Ok, Maybe they did..secretly though.!)
Don’t forget another fact, even if one of your plans are foiled, you always have two other plans on the back burner that succeed. Let’s call it the trinity theory.
Let’s not forget the minions. Become a super-villain, and you will quickly become surrounded by muscular (and sometimes not so muscular,but….) guys who will follow your every command despite being regularly pummelled by crimefighters and getting lousy pay. You can drop a minion into a tank filled with crocodiles because they displeased you somehow and the rest still won’t quit.

Now,let’s branch a little bit to the female villainy chronicle. There aren’t much of them female villians,but;
(a) There’s the young desirable maiden….the femme fatale,(a young beauty whose brain is perverted beyond redemption, whose body is totally hot, and who manipulates men’s emotions for material or maniacal motives eg Catherine Tramell in Basic Instinct and oh, Nneka in Nneka the pretty serpent).

(b) The ugly haggard crone, a bitter..old..twisted, barren sort of woman who has no love in her life (Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest); the mature respectable mother,

(c) and then there’s the woman scorned, she’s probably hot enough to feel outraged if a guy doesn’t want to keep swinging the light with her and obsessed enough to make him suffer for the rejection (Uma Thurman in My Super Ex-Girlfriend might not fit this villainy bill but that’s only because the film was a comedy. Now, if that film were written as a tragedy then….)
My favourite female villain has to be Cruella De-ville. iLike her sweggs.! The Villain
There’s also T-X from Terminator 3, the Borg Queen from Star Trek, and the queen alien from Aliens, although errrmm….that’s kinda like beginning to stretch the definition of female.

Btw S/O to Lunaleo and Sand-storming Johnsee. Inspiriation behind this post.! 😀

Advertisements

About Ada

FOODIE!
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to VILLAINY.!!!

  1. LOL! You forgot we have cookies on the dark side!!!

  2. Chyk El-Farooq says:

    “They can’t even arrest you for the stash of plutonium u have in your SHED” … LMAO… “Shed” … dat word is just funny.. Nice post. True,Villians are way cooler than heroes.

  3. OluwoleJR says:

    Haha.Yemi My Lover the Fish Guy..haha.Lol. Nice 1

  4. forasphinx says:

    “Apparently the villain racket pays well” lol. N to be honest I’ve mostly ever had a thing for villains, the likes of Lex Luthor, Joker,Poison Ivy etc. Nice piece

  5. tobiMrlong says:

    lol…nice piece

  6. Truth Be Told says:

    #nooffence! But really, this is nonsense. You don’t have blog, u know? Its like a long dick that won’t get hard; Useless.

  7. Sick_Sage says:

    *Evil laugh* it’s about time y’all realize the dark side is the cool side, for one thing U can do anything and not be bothered by a conscience. Oh well,I’m off to play poker with my pals Hannibal,Landa,and Billy the Butcher. . .
    P.S: Who noticed that Nneka kept changing 2 a cat, instead of a snake? Methinks she shoulda been called Nneka The Pretty Cat

  8. cikk0 says:

    *now dragging the TV out of yr room* u don too watch!

  9. chioma says:

    Nice stuff…read it with my brother and he Laughed his ass out..! Besides….who is that truth be told person.?

  10. anonymous says:

    I think I am in Love with you.! Evil is good. 😀 you write good..I wanna get into ur head.

  11. IstalkBlogs says:

    Karashika and Lex Luthor should have made this list though; Nice read.iLike

  12. stanSees says:

    My favourite female blogger has written. Crazy stuff as always. And LMAO at the “Nneka the Pretty serpent”. That Lady/movie scarred my infant years mehn. 😐 Noiceee. 😀 I should probably think of changing sides soon.!!!!

  13. kitkat says:

    hehe nice one! cruella de ville literally made me quake in my boots when i was a kid. Honestly though, i like good guys *yes i’m boring, i know!* ..bad guys wld always be who they are, and the whole trying to keep up with mr bad guy and maybe even taming him, gets tiring.

  14. terdoh says:

    I’m glad to see that people are finally realizing what I realized in 2008 when I watched ‘The Dark Knight’. Villains are the spice of any super hero movie! And Metroman was nothing without Megamind! Long Live Joker! *drops mic and cripwalks off blog post*

  15. Adiya says:

    True. Everyone admires the evil person who is walking the line between good and evil. See how many people like Damon from Vampire Diaries? Case closed

    Adiya
    Muse Origins

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s